Writing Tips:Don't Use No Double Negatives

Don't use no double negatives.
Don't never use no triple negatives.
Stamp out and eliminate redundancy and tautology.
Avoid clichés like the plague.
All generalizations are bad.
A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
Everyone should be a non-conformist.
People who insult others are jerks.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Death to intolerance.
Down with categorical imperatives.
Avoid those run-on sentences that just go on, and on, and on, theynever stop, they just keep rambling, and you really wish the personwould just shut up, but no, they just keep going, they're worse thanthe Energizer Bunny, they babble incessantly, and these sentences, theyjust never stop, they go on forever...if you get my drift...
Nobody has a right to his opinion.
Never contradict yourself always.
Good people like I are never self-righteous.
You should never use the second person.
Never go off on tangents, which are lines that intersect a curve at only one point and were discovered by Euclid, who lived in the sixth century, which was an era dominated by the Goths, who lived in what we now know as Poland...
Always do what is right, even if it's wrong.
Remember what Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations."
Excessive use of exclamation points can be disastrous!!!!!
Remember to end each sentence with a period
Don't use commas, which aren'tnecessary.
Don't use question marks inappropriately?
Don't be terse.
Don't obfuscate your theses with extraneous verbiage.
Never use that totally cool, radically groovy out-of-date slang.
Stop calling me immature or I'll tell on you.
Avoid tumbling off the cliff of triteness into the black abyss of overused metaphors.
Keep your ear to the grindstone, your nose to the ground, take the bull by the horns of a dilemma, and stop mixing your metaphors.
Fight to the death for your pacifist aims.
Avoid those abysmally horrible, outrageously repellent exaggerations.
Avoid any awful anachronistic aggravating antediluvian alliteration.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Be more or less specific.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
No sentence fragments.
Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be ignored.
Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth- shaking ideas.
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
Puns are for children, not groan readers.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters.